The Beginning of the End?

OK sooooo I have a confession I suppose...
Here's some background info first:
I'm 18
My bf- Alex S- is 21
We met at a party through a mutual friend- Andrew M ( a guy I used to work with that I've made out with before and I almost had sex // lost virginity to him one drunken night)
I fbkd Alex the Sunday night of Halloween wknd after I met him to get his cell num.. then texted him and we started hanging out // talking // him visiting me at work // us making out in Spencer L's car... which then led to us dating.. then fucking....
Then after we'd been dating for about 8 months I got in a big fight with my dad and had to leave to stop living there (after not living with him for a couple weeks the spring prior)- Alex S and Kasia G picked me up that afternoon and the rest is history so to speak...
Even from the beginning I felt//told him that I knew it was too early for us to be moving in together and I didn't plan on it being permanent.
Well I had moved in with him in like April while he was living at College Inn with 3 other roommates.. then we both => planned on <= moving into a 4 bedroom suite at University Village with OUR mutual friends Spencer L, Andrew M, and Sam W (WHICH WAS AWFULLLLLL BTW lol another story for another time) then after that for a year, we got an apartment together at Walnut Creek- both cosigning the lease with his mom as both of our gurantor...


OK Alex just got home Ill have to finish this in a little bit... Srry : /  <3 A

SO ANONYMOUS XI

I got my drank in my cup
and some junk in my trunk
If you're low fill it up
Don't you see I get it crunk

I be sippin on some gin (gin)
Sittin takin it all in

Bout to burst
Out my shirt
Sorry but I tend to flirt


Now I'me poppin out the wine
Like it's celebration time
And I'm rollin with my dimes
Like I'm in a vending machine line

My boys wanna get tipsy
So I pull out mywhiskey
Now I cannot act a lady
Got the sayin "damn she crazy"

Watch me take yo man
He'll be my numba 1 fan
Hot Damn

That's why they givin me their cake
Like everyday's my brithday

I'm bout to get it started
You know I bring the party
Won't remember in the mornin'
Cause we gon get retarded

Slurpin on some bubble
Bout to get into some trouble

So I'm runnin for the covers
And my dress you're creepin under

SO ANONYMOUS X

My Diamonds
They be gleamin
My style
Got you screamin
My smiles on
I'm beamin
I keep my money
Clean and
My body got you fiendin
My girls look hot
Keep dreamin

SO ANONYMOUS IX

Now I'm done and when I'm gone
I'll be the only trophy you hadn't won
You'll realize what you've done
So you can't be my number one

When I step out on the scene
Guys lined up as far as I can see
All those girls wanna be me
DJ this is my urgent plea

So A T T N
Need your attention
Tell your boy he's inchin
Closer to detention
Pinchin on my ass
Baby where's your class?
Checkin out my style
Don't need to wait in line
If you know you ain't fine
You just need to step aside
So if you creepin up behind
I'm not givin you the time

So learn this life lesson
Before I start messin
Around or start dressin
Up for this class clown
Trust I'm not stressin
Just need to address it
This teacher's pet obssession
I'm gonna need a confession
Before we get down

A S A P
All eyes on me

SO ANONYMOUS VIII

I'm givin you the go yea
We're goin for the gold now
Be ya lucky clova
Want you to bend me ova
Do it big like Hova
Ya know that's why I chose ya
Then you should turn me ova
Like smoke I'm gonna blow ya
N after this rolla coasta
I guess I could just hold ya
; )

SO ANONYMOUS VII

Rollin on 3-4's
Not messin with a benz yo
I whip it in the enzo
I'll kick it in the end zone
I'll pick it like a fence though
After I count my bank roll
Beat's sick
Seats back
Don't need to have a place to go

SO ANONYMOUS VI

Can you keep up
Will you watch me
If I get it fired up
While my hips swing
Center of the flo
Where ya know I take it low
You know I gotta catch ya
Not just gonna match ya
I ain't tryin to blas ya
Name on the ra-dio
but you know how I go
Me is what I do
Looks like it's round two
You just do you
That's why they be like 'who'


Cause I'm a 5 star chick
In my 5 star whip
With my 5 star clique
Takin 5 star hits
Gotcha 5 star dick
Beat it, r-tard bitch


Guess I can't say that one on air
My words strip you like naked and bare
I like it how you move when ya move right there
Do a little dance for ya
Sit down in that chair


You should really try to please me
You should really care
Not lookin for a child
Or for an answered prayer
Just wanna get a lil wild
With the game's biggest player

I ain't about to miss ya
I just wanna kiss ya
D you get the pitcha
I'm really gonna getcha

SO ANONYMOUS V

I'm 3k away
Just another day
I'd love to say I miss you
But then again I guess I don't
You know I long to kiss you
Do you know why I won't?
Because I'm 3k away
What else is there I can say
I love you more with everyday

You know I'm fallin
Yea I've fallin hard
Can't you see I'm fallen (fallen)
I know nothing could keep us apart

Except I'm 3k, away
How much can, my, heart take

SO ANONYMOUS IV

Hello
Can you hear me callin your name
Our hearts beating one in the same
And you're all I think about tonight

My love
In a vial pressed into your hand
Quiet there's no need to pretend
Can we even see the same starlight?

Sweet lullaby
Your soul intertwined with mine
And if the rain starts pourin
Baby you can count on me
I know it won't be boring
You just wait and see

SO ANONYMOUS III

Close your eyes
Part your lips
Brush my thighs
Fingertips
Feel the rush
Voices hushed
Touch my skin
Let you in

Strike a pose
Hold you down
Keep you close
Won't make a sound
Pull my hair
Scratch my back
Your amazing love
Our lustdrunk tact

You make me wanna fly
It's so impossible
You send me on a high
I just can't let you go
And when I think
This just can't last
You're on the brink
I'm in relapse

SO ANONYMOUS II

I want to feel- your touch
I want to have- your love
I want to be
I want to see
What we, could, be

But it's not enough
To play rough
When I can never be
Never see
The 'we' he talks about
Constantly
Don't you see this is hurting me

Can't say I haven't tried
To keep you in my life
Now I don't know what I'ma do without you

Is this really right
To leave this all behind
Or is this really a mental break through

I want to hear your voice
I want to bring the noise
I want to feel
Iwant to heal
I need to take back what you steal

Because you're killin me
So please
They say that I'm the best
But how can shit go down
Without my baby around

I've tried, to tell, you how
I feel
But you, refuse
To change the reel
So I've just been floating
There's no light I can see from here
So now I set sail from this pier
And I must let go of my fears

Let go, just let go
So just know
I've, let, go

SO ANONYMOUS

Tell you what I want, what I need
Where I'm from and who I be
What I've been through and what I've seen
And if I learned one thing
Life's no fairy tale, it's not like TV
It's so hard to grasp, true reality
Everyday I think it's closer
Every year that I grow older
But I see it's moving farther
As it all starts to feel harder
To take
The pain
It breaks
My heart
It aches
In strain
And I don't know what I would've done without you
It's so true
But would you be confused
If I told you 'a different you'
Indeed it was me
That in fact I truly lacked
A back bone
Too stoned
I don't know how I should act

Polyvore Me

Find me on Polyvore

Intermission

Hahaha soooo I love how I haven't added a new post on here in a long ass time... I honestly haven't had much to talk about- I'm still looking for a job, still struggling with getting back on board with school, things between Alex and me have fizzled... I've 'met' this really awesome guy I like who lives in Washington (uhhh thats 3k away btw). I've been writing more which is nice but I'm def having trouble gettting all my thoughts organized and narrowing down the lyrics. I guess I could post my new lyrics... but I'm so anal about my work that it's not like it's done ya know... I really don't even think the last couple months are even worth recounting. I've been POLYVORIN it up though... maybe I should post those onto here too! That'd make my blog a little more interesting, non? Well I guess I'll fuck around with it right now then!! : D